Hey girl! I’m really really pumped about this week’s episode because this one is coming STRAIGHT from my heart to meet you where you are in life RIGHT NOW. The idea for this episode came from a recent conversation that I had with a good friend of mine, who is not only a creative, but is also experiencing a growth period within her business. And honestly, it’s something that I’ve been hearing over and over again from those of you that are either just starting out in your business, or just generally pushing out of your comfort zone and GROWING in your life. We’re all having to come face to face with this feeling of imposter syndrome, and navigating through the challenges and the setbacks that come along with experiencing growth.
Life is FULL of challenges and setbacks
Whether you are running your own business or not – everyday we are experiencing new things, we’re navigating through new chapters in our lives and constantly learning more about ourselves and figuring out ways to grow. And often times, these periods of growth don’t feel fun when we’re in them, am I right? It’s very infrequent when we look at something new and scary and feel excitement about taking it on. We might feel excited for a moment, but how often does that excitement turn into fear or anxiety once we realize that it’s going to push us outside of our comfort zone? Usually pretty often.
Growth takes a lot of freaking grit and resiliency. And in today’s episode, I want us to be able to take a moment to check in with ourselves because during these times of growth and uncertainty, it’s so crucial that we have not only identified ways to stay the course, but to also help keep our bodies and our minds in check and reduce our overall feeling of stress. So girl if you feel this, grab your latte or your tall glass of wine and let’s dig into this together!
Remember that life is happening FOR YOU
So maybe you can relate to this, but there are sometimes when we feel like life is happening TO US. You know those moments when we’ve maybe said yes to too many things, or we’ve not done a great job of setting our own personal boundaries – and we start to feel overwhelmed, frustrated and like life is spiraling out of control. In these moments, we have to make a choice, we can either choose to acknowledge these feelings, figure out ways to find some sort of balance in our life, and power through with our goals – or we can sit back, not take action over our responsibilities, and blame our external circumstances for what’s happening in our life.
Do either of these scenarios sound familiar to you? They do to me – because girl, if we’re really honest with ourselves, I think we can admit that we have ALL been here at one point or another – and we’ve all made BOTH choices at some point in our life. And let’s be real – 2020 has been filled with some MAJOR setbacks for all of us. So how we can better turn these setbacks and challenges into things that will actually help grow and serve us??
Our mindset MATTERS
So first thing’s first, I think it’s important to acknowledge that our mindset really DOES MATTER. And I’m not going to sit here and say that just by having a positive mindset that life will magically get better or that all of our problems will miraculously disappear – because let’s be real life just doesn’t work like that. BUT it is true, that how we perceive stress in our life, actually affects our physical body – like, our mindset and our perception of our life ACTUALLY AFFECTS the ways that our bodies react to stress. And you’ve felt this before! Anytime before we do something SCARY or NEW, our body starts to react to these feelings! You might feel a little weak or nauseous, your heart might start to race and your breathing might become more shallow – these are all happening because our body is reacting to our stress!
For a lot of us, when we start to feel this anxiety around challenges or fear of the unknown, we immediately dive into thoughts of how things are going to turn out negatively. I mean, I’m a really optimistic person and even I find myself filling my thoughts with negative outcomes when I start to feel stressed or anxious about something. It’s our bodies natural reaction to fear – and that’s something we have to learn to accept! But it doesn’t mean we have to stay with that negative mindset.
What perspective are you choosing?
So think about this scenario – you’re about to give a presentation to an auditorium full of people and you feel your heart race and your blood start pumping faster and you kinda feel like you might pee your pants. Imagine that instead of telling yourself how nervous you are / or worrying about messing up / imagine that instead, you thought about how you might be the person to change someone’s life – how you could be the reason that someone in that audience decides to follow their passions and change their life for the better. Think of the difference that would make for your attitude and your perspective of the situation.
Our thoughts are so incredibly powerful in dictating how we move forward in life. Our thoughts drive our actions and our actions drive our habits and behaviors – so the things that you tell yourself are honestly really really important. So why don’t we decide today that moving forward, we’re going to choose to flip the script in our head that tells us that life is happening TO US and instead start to believe that everything in life is happening FOR US.
Often times when we start to face a challenge or a setback, or we are coming face to face with this fear of the unknown, we begin fill our head with these stories that are usually not true – and when we tell ourselves these stories, our minds literally starts LOOKING for confirmation of it in our life.
Our brain looks for evidence of the thoughts we tell ourselves
So let’s say you’ve recently taken on a project or a client that is going to push you outside of your comfort zone. And you knew when you took on this client or the project that it was going to feel scary, but you felt excited for the challenge and so you took it on anyway. In these situations, we might feel that excitement in the beginning, but it usually eventually leads to these feeling of doubt and imposter syndrome – this belief that we tell ourselves that we aren’t going to be good enough or that we’re not going to be able to live up to these “expectations” that we’ve set in our head.
Instead of telling ourselves these stories that will eventually hinder us, why don’t we start telling ourselves a story that we have been gifted this opportunity BECAUSE we have the skills necessary in order to overcome it? Why don’t we choose to tell ourselves that this client chose us because they WHOLEHEARTEDLY believe that we are more than capable of making them happy? Let’s start reminding ourselves on a regular basis that we are more than worth it and we are more than capable of achieving great success.
So girl, if you find yourself in a time of growth and you feel like you’re stepping out of your comfort zone, facing new challenges and setbacks, and you’re doubting yourself and wondering if you should just go back to playing small – hear me out:
Let’s imagine for a moment that if life isn’t happening to you
Imagine that each challenge and setback that you are facing right now, is happening FOR YOUR BENEFIT. That even though these setbacks and challenges might feel scary in this moment, let’s start telling ourselves and believing that these things are actually working FOR US. If we have the creativity and the imagination to dream up possible scenarios and outcomes, why not spend it creating outcomes that will actually WORK OUT AND BENEFIT US in the end?! Let’s start imagining more of the best case scenarios.
And remember, that girl that you admire – the one that you see crushing their goals and seeming to move through life with ease and grace – remember that SHE experiences these setbacks too! Because honestly, no one experiences growth and success without ALSO experiencing a ton of failure. There’s often so many obstacles and stumbling going on behind the scenes that you just can’t see – but it doesn’t mean that it’s not there. That girl ALSO experienced all of the growing pains, fear and feelings of imposter syndrome when she decided to take a leap and start taking on things outside of her comfort zone.
Remember that the girl that’s out there crushing her goals ALSO had to start from scratch
She likely not only felt the butterflies, but she probably also felt sick to her stomach or like she might poop her pants before doing something scary. Right?! It’s just that she probably didn’t tell you that when it was happening. Because truthfully, even the happiest, most successful people that we see out there, they still face fear and failure on a regular basis – no matter what success they’ve achieved in their business, they are still continuing to face these challenges and setbacks EVERY SINGLE DAY. But the difference is, instead of viewing their setbacks as something negative, they are choosing to look at them as opportunities for them to GROW.
And hear me out, I know that when we’re in these moments – when life feels like it’s too much – or we feel overwhelmed – or we just want to quit and throw in the towel, it doesn’t feel fun. In reality, growth is often not super fun when we’re in the middle of it, but I hope that you can find some comfort in knowing that we’ve ALL been there, and we’re all experiencing it alongside you today.
Remember that this moment will be fleeting
I also wanted to share one last tip that helps me navigate through the challenges in life and helps me keep a more positive perspective – and that’s being able to take a step back from my current situation and look at my life from a more wholistic perspective. When I start to feel anxious or overwhelmed, I remind myself that one day, I’ll be looking back at this point in life, and it will be nothing more than a distant memory. This thing that, while it might feel big or scary or challenging in the moment, is one day just going to be a blip in my timeline. This helps me not only stay grounded and more present, but helps me savor and APPRECIATE the moment so much more.
One day when I’m old and grey, I’m going to look back at this moment in my life and I’m going to be SO DANG PROUD of myself for pushing through. I’ll be able to see how this challenge brought me more freedom, because it led me to new opportunities that unlocked things in life that I never even dreamed were possible.
Scary and challenging moments lead to breakthrough opportunities
So the next time you start to feel anxious or feel like things are feeling overwhelming, just remember that this moment is going to lead you to some really incredible things – even if it feels a little scary now, you’re going to come out on the other side feeling even more capable, knowledgeable, and confident in yourself and your ability. Our time is precious on this earth and it’s so important for us to remember that these moments that feel like a challenge, are actually a gift that we’ve just not yet discovered.
Girl, you’ve got this. And even if you’re in the thick of life and you’re starting to feel overwhelmed – just remember that each of these experiences and any setbacks that we are encountering are here to not only serve us and help us grow – but to ultimately allow us to thrive. You are so much stronger than you realize and I know that you’ve got this. I’ll talk to you soon…
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